Calming a Worried Mind: Three Powerful Tips

Worry and rumination are common experiences because our brain is hard-wired to worry. Worrying can help us explore to multiple possible outcomes to current situations and can also assist in creating possible solutions.

However, sometimes, worry just leads to more worry. And chronic unproductive worry can begin to wear us down, deplete much-needed energy, negatively affect our physical health, and generally cause deterioration in mood.

So how can we manage the worries we face? Here are some ideas you might want to explore:

1. Answer the “what if” questions
   Worry tends to revolve around “what if?” questions such as “what if my friend did not realize I was making a joke and felt hurt by my comment?” or “what if I get laid off because of the economic downturn?” These types of questions tend to cause us feel that we could possibly be facing a threat (e.g. loss of a friendship, loss of financial security).

   However, if we take a minute and look at what we would actually do if these events occurred, it might help remind us of our own resourcefulness. For example, if you notice your friend starting to distance themselves, you might plan to have a direct conversation about any possible misunderstandings that occurred. Also, if you lost your job, you might start to consider which expenses you might be able to cut down, explore networking opportunities, or make a long-awaited career change.

   By focusing on what is within your control, you might find yourself feeling more empowered and less threatened.

 
2. Distraction in a grounding activity
   Whether we tackle a Saturday crossword, go outside, plan our next vacation, or explore a new series to watch on Netflix, distraction can be a useful tool when we feel lost in our own minds.

   By choosing an activity that grounds us in the present, on the other hand, we may be able to tackle multiple aspects of our worry. For example, by taking 2 – 4 minutes to practice diaphragmatic breathing, you can begin to counteract the physical impact of worry as well as focus your mind on your body rather than thoughts.

   Distraction in and of itself might have its limitations if we are not managing other causes of worry (e.g. stress levels, mental health, physical health, social health).

 
3. Monitor for criticism and practice self-compassion
   When we become aware of worrying, it’s easy to criticize ourselves: “why am I still focusing on this? What’s wrong with me?” Recognize that worrying is a natural part of being human. Being able to respond to ourselves in a compassionate way allows room to feel that we can make effective change. Criticism tends to decrease how effective we feel.

   If you feel it’s difficult to show compassion to yourself (or maybe you’re feeling out of practice), check out Dr. Kristen Neff’s website: self-compassion.org The website has some great advice on how to do it.

I sincerely hope this is useful to those of you who experience worry a bit more than you would prefer to.