Managing anxiety is the topic of today’s entry in the Psychologist Calgary blog. I’m going to share three important steps you’ll want to incorporate into any personalized plan for managing anxiety in your life.
Step One – Recognize Your Unique Symptoms
Anxiety can be so ingrained into our lives that we may not even recognize it for what it is. For example, when I was studying for my registration exam, I had terrible stomach aches. I tried to figure out what I was eating to upset my stomach, I monitored my family members for illness, and even considered whether I had developed acid reflux. However, as I was reading about anxiety symptoms as part of my studying, I began to consider whether what I was experiencing anxious symptoms instead. I began to pay attention to the content of my thoughts, my emotions, and other bodily symptoms such as muscle tension and realized that, in fact, I was experiencing high levels of anxiety. I was surprised that this possibility had not come to me sooner considering that stress and anxiety were two of the most common issues I worked on with clients and yet I was not paying attention to my own experience of it.
One of the challenges with anxiety is that everyone experiences it somewhat differently. Symptoms can be emotional (e.g. dread, agitation, irritability), cognitive (e.g. thoughts of not being good enough, worried about the worst case scenarios, self-criticism), behavioural (e.g. avoiding the things and situations that make us anxious, trouble sleeping), and/or physical (e.g. heart racing, tight muscles, sweating, shallow breathing, upset stomach).
Step Two – Look for What Actually Helps Rather Than a Distraction
This can be a difficult step. When we are experiencing challenging emotional experiences, we might find relief by avoiding them. However, the more we avoid them, the more anxious we tend to become. When we are feeling anxious, it can be helpful to become aware of what we are thinking and doing and assess whether it is helping or making it worse. For example, if we made a mistake and are criticizing ourselves – does this help the situation or make it worse? If we feel bad from criticizing ourselves, do we then do something to numb the feelings of being unworthy using television/alcohol/shopping/etc.?
Instead of doing the things that are making it worse or sustaining the anxiety, replace these automatic reactions with something that does improve the situation. This can be a very individual process. Consider what your needs are in the moment. Do you need to make an apology for the mistake you made? Do you need to share your feelings and worries with a trusted loved one? Do you need to get outside to clear your head and reconsider the situation? Do you need to show yourself a bit of compassion instead of criticism?
Step Three – Seek Support from Those You Trust
It can be challenging to replace automatic reactions to anxiety with more useful responses. Often it means confronting aspects of ourselves that are sensitive which then causes us to feel vulnerable. However, there is strength in vulnerability in that it allows us to live more in line with our values and challenges us to improve ourselves. It can be useful to have support through this process whether that be a spouse, friend, parent, sibling, or counsellor.
Another good article on the basics of managing ongoing anxiety: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anxiety-zen/201505/what-do-when-your-anxiety-won-t-go-away